You know how once a great while you feel like you are doing well, taking care of most everyone and everything pretty well. Perhaps you are. But what do you do when you find out that, though unknowingly, you let some vital things fall through the cracks with devastating consequences?
You are humbled beyond words and though that may be a new experience it is one of the best things to happen. It makes you look at everything a bit different and helps you to embrace imperfections in yourself and others. And then you can build again, stronger and without the arrogance and stubbornness that kept you from living fully. and some days it is just a matter of getting through the best you can. Other days you are able to find beauty the takes your breath away. Sometimes though, this day will leave a mark.
July 24 is one of those days. Today is a normal day so far. I have taken my husband to Physical Therapy, gone to the office, had lunch and spent far too much time trying to find an important piece of paper. July 24, 1989 was the other kinds of a day. My brother, David, died suddenly at the age of 36 from a Pulmonary Embolism. We didn't see it coming at all and our world was changed forever. Through grief beyond all words I learned to Cherish what you have while you have it because God may bring you what your heart is longing for but you may lose some of your greatest riches you have now. I also learned that "things happen!!!!" and also "things happen." Don't let the waves be too high or too low. Keep your joy and peace at all times by trusting God, don't leave room for anything else. on July 24, 1989 a beautiful baby girl was born who became a close friend. 30 years later her baby girl was born on July 24. It only happens once. So, this day let it be as stupendous as it can be whether it is the routine, the big grief or the big joy let this day leave its mark as fully lived. I was going through some things and found something I wrote years ago which happened to be just what I needed today. Thought I would share....
Don't use your energies to try and change the other person in a relationship. Just accept it as is, even if it is just for fertilizer. My nutrients flooding over! I talked about being thankful and then life hits you again with the BE THANKFUL AND CHERISH WHAT YOU HAVE WHILE YOU HAVE IT.
We do it, we all do it, we get so caught up in seeing what is wrong in our life that we don't stop to appreciate the beauty of what we do have to be thankful for. Even the smallest slightest thing makes all the difference how you live your life. Presuming the tragedy that may happen tomorrow, the things that get our minds off in every direction but that of peace, love and grace just cause us to sabotage our lives. They say you don't know what you have until you don't have it any more. Don't let this happen, cherish the people in your life. Don't let a day go by that you don't tell them you love them, don't let a moment go by when you don't show it. When you are bombarded in your thoughts with things that mess with you, that are taking your peace, MAKE YOURSELF exchange those thoughts with LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE ..... do it every single time. That is where the relationship really take place, starts there anyway, in your thoughts. Then come actions from those thoughts. Love for yourself, love for others, love of God.....Love, love, love, love, love.....cherish what you have while you have it. It has been a great while since I wrote on this blog....ok, deep breath.....life has just been too messy, too complicated, too overwhelming, just like everyone else's and because of this sharing in this way has taken a back seat. With a new year there are new realizations and writing what I share with so many people that I work with will perhaps benefit those who take a minute to read it. I don't want what I have gone through or what others have shared about their journey, to be in vain.
Sometimes my want to gets so big that I get overwhelmed so I am going to simplify and get on this. Starting at the beginning is a very good place to start....one of the keys, part of the foundation of joy is gratitude. Stop now and think of all you have and all you can be so thankful for. It may not be what you want or the way you want it and that is not what this is about. Be thankful for it all and watch your heart and life open up to more of what you want. It ask a key that opens the door to abundance and beauty and the more you focus on just being thankful the smaller your problems and gripes will be. Try it everyday, let us know how it goes. How unbelievable has it been these last few years, everyone has experienced a world where the landscape has been ever changing. The only way to keep from becoming dizzy and losing your way is by keeping your focus on one thing and with every turn you will keep your balance if you look for that one special thing.
I have tried my best to do that and writing it down has been critical for me to do that. My writing though is all over the place, there are napkins, notebooks, pieces of paper everywhere that have notes and little insights along the way. The challenge now is to take those and put them in writing, to share them for anyone who would find them of comfort, insight, encouragement or humor. My plan is to begin to get them to this format. The interesting thing about these last few years is that we have had to restrict our want to's and it feels like we have less time to do what we need to do. Don't know why that is but maybe I will find it in my notes from the last few years. We are all in this together and yet very much alone. Everything will be ok though My Darling. Truly the wisest and kindest man I have known was my Dad. Though he has been gone for twelve years he lives in our hearts and through what he taught us. I am now old enough to really grasp what he was trying to teach me and I would like to share it with you. The few things I have learned along the way I will put in parenthesis, He was so much better at keeping it short and sweet than I am.
Dealing with others (Simple but not easy) 1. Everyone is doing the best they can with the beliefs they have. 2. I am not responsible for your happiness or unhappiness - but I AM FOR MINE. - I teach others how to treat me. (by how I treat them). - I will not blame others (I am responsible for me). 3. I will avoid rescuing ---patiently. Don't do what others SHOULD and COULD do for themselves). 4. Dialogue Perception - (takes time and effort but worth it, I am a big fan of writing it out) - Check what happened - Explore why it happened - Invite exploring how can I keep it from happening again. 5. Decide who owns the problem (be responsible). - If I am unhappy use "I" language. - If others are unhappy use "you" language 6. Use logical consequences - determine beforehand and follow through, mutual agreement 7. Celebrate Progress -Don't emphasize failures It has been a wild ride for the last two years. I would have never guessed all that would happen so quickly and with such pounding in my world or in the world.
It has caused me to look inside more, to have my beliefs exposed, tested, confirmed or abandoned. What amazes me is that I realize how much life is to be enjoyed and that comes in the simple moments that can be so easily taken away. Yet, even when something is no longer available or part of your life there is still always something wonderful to embrace and you better recognize it, embrace it and appreciate it because the landscape of your life will change before you know it. These last two years have taught me that everything really will be ok. You don't know what tomorrow may bring, so many unknowns, but you have everything you need. You are Always in the Prime of Life. Fill your heart , mind, and soul that you can be free flowing to others and not be needing them to fill you up. Live your life to your hearts desire (and let others do the same). Determine the direction of your moments, days, years, life. Walk it out with grace and dignity, forgiving all along the way so that you can Enjoy the Journey, have all the fun you want. Living Inside Out |